Thank You Judaism
Written by Hannah — Illinois, USA
While I am not an Orthodox Jew, I have always identified with the religion and culture of Judaism. My mother instilled in me the Jewish values of kindness and compassion. These values are reflected in the flourishing community of which I am fortunate to be a part. Each year, with my family and friends, I remember and celebrate the history of my people.
In the fall, almost every other weekend is a gathering of my extended family. There are so many holidays that extravagant seders feel mundane. The visits with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins are joyous. My favorite holiday, Pesach (Passover), comes along in the spring. I spend the whole year looking forward to the matzah ball soup that my aunt prepares.
As each season passes, I learn more about the traditions. Last year my grandmother taught me how to prepare the brisket, working her magic in the kitchen. During the long cooking process, we traded stories of our lives. When I was twelve, my uncle showed me how to weave the challah loaf, my mom’s favorite snack. She eats it with honey poured on the face in the shape of the Star of David. My parents send me out each year to fetch the ingredients for the Passover Seder Plate. As I matured, I developed the taste and liking for the egg, shankbone, charosets, horseradish, parsley, and lettuce that made up the traditional Passover plate.
Since I never learned Hebrew or Yiddish, most of the prayers that my family recited felt hollow to me. Just strings of sounds that I’ve memorized throughout my life. When my family would go to seder at an Orthodox Jewish family friend’s house, I remember being shocked that the young children knew the prayers by heart. When they recited them, they closed their eyes, and felt the words resonate through their body. The prayers were meaningless to me until my family explained them. Understanding the context, history, and ancestral connection transformed them into something powerful. Knowing that thousands of other families recited the same prayers honoring the same history makes the strings of sounds feel profound.
I feel a sense of belonging not only in my Ashkenazi family, but in the Jewish community. This love and support gave me the courage to be my true self. When I realized that I was queer as a young adult, I repressed my feelings for years. My family’s unconditional love gave me the courage to embrace my identity. Although the Torah condemns homosexuality, the values of Judaism are held higher than that. The compassion that my family showed me when I came out to them was delightfully surprising. While I didn’t know what to expect from my Silent Generation grandparents, I should have believed in our love.
My faith has provided me so much support throughout my life that I can now live proudly as a genderqueer lesbian. It means the world to me that I could maintain my relationship with my family throughout my journey.
