My Brother Told Me So
Written by Keenan - Pennsylvania, USA
As a queer person of faith, navigating the intersection of my identity and my spirituality has been a journey enriched by both challenges and triumph. Attending my Seventh Day Adventist’ youth group every Friday has been a cornerstone of my experience, offering not just a sense of belonging but also the affirmation that my identity does not preclude my faith. Growing up I faced ridicule, particularly from my brother, for not conforming to traditional notions of masculinity. It was disheartening to be made fun of for being “too feminine.” While roughhousing was a typical pastime for many boys, I found joy in different facets of my personality—like exploring music, art, and heartfelt conversations. That early experience of exclusion shattered my self-esteem but also imbedded a longing for community and acceptance.
When I discovered the youth group, the majority, including myself, were quiet and kept to themselves. My brother was 16 at the time and had many more friends in the church than me. They dominated the group with loud jokes and their abundance. About two years later his attendance slowed, and I became a more “prominent” member. I tried to make all new members feel welcome, when our group size was 40, and when it was 15. After years of my mom bringing me, and the weekly pizza night, I found out many members were also grappling with their identities, struggles, and uncertainties. Participating in discussions about faith and sexuality with each other helped me realize I was not alone. We shared our experiences and learned collectively that love and acceptance are at the core of our beliefs.
Now, sessions are filled with more laughter, music, and moments of vulnerability. I have learned to voice my struggles in a safe space, nurturing deeper connections with others. Knowing that I can express my authentic self without fear of judgment brings me immense peace. In my personal practice, I often turn to the trusted elders of the church for advice and recommended biblical passages, often emphasizing love, acceptance, and compassion and how it creates a direct connection to my faith. Reflecting on verses, like those from 1 John 4:7, “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God,” has been particularly resonant for me. These affirmations help ground me and remind me that my queerness is not only accepted but cherished in the eyes of God. I find peace in meditative practices, allowing me to reflect on my identity, my faith, and my journey in a sacred, contemplative manner.
The support I’ve gained from my youth group has fostered lifelong friendships, ensuring I don’t have to walk my spiritual journey alone. The warmth of these relationships is very important to me; these friends have become my chosen family. Together, we participate in community service every Global Youth Day, embodying our faith through actions—helping those in need and spreading love. These shared experiences have reinforced the idea that we are meant to support and uplift one another. So overall, being part of a youth group as a queer person of faith has provided me with a sanctuary—an environment where I regularly connect with friends I feel comfortable enough to express myself. Through this tradition, I have found peace and a profound sense of belonging. That is the reason for who I am today.
