Reclaiming Faith: Embracing Queerness and Religion
Written by Callum - Arkansas, USA
My relationship with faith has always been complex, serving as both a source of comfort and restriction. Growing up in a conservative Christian environment left me keenly aware of the tension between my identity and faith. The verse Deuteronomy 22:5, "The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God," was a destructive force towards my relationship with religion.This verse, among others, made a singular, harmful narrative apparent: that my queerness was sinful. During my adolescence, my beliefs about family and religion directly contradicted my true self, forcing me into complicity with the transphobia around me. Shame became second nature and, in turn, reinforced the clash between my mind and anatomy that revealed itself in self-destructive manners. I internalized the messages society sent, allowing them to distort the understanding of my own worth. I viewed my queerness as a test of faith, equivalent to the biblical stories like Abraham and Isaac in the Book of Genesis- a parable over loyalty and sacrifice.
My understanding began to shift when I started exploring scripture through a queer-affirming lens. On social media platforms, I found others like me: queer people who navigated through religious tensions and, in the end, still maintained their faith. This representation opened my eyes to the possibility of my queerness being a source of spiritual strength rather than a barrier. These spaces were a refuge for me to heal, learn, and grow. I discovered scripture that uplifted my identity rather than condemn it. Engaging with these communities and their religious practices helped me build my own- ones that celebrate both my faith and my identity. I’ve cultivated an individualized form of connection and traditions that nurture this relationship. Approaching scripture with an open heart has led to my own, personal liberation. Highlighting verses that affirm my identity and reflecting in the margins allows me to reclaim scripture in a way that brings me closer to God. The verses once weaponized against me weren’t reflective of God's true, all-loving self, but rather of human hate and prejudice. Prayer and meditation have both become profound sources of comfort. Weekly prayers, specifically, provides structure to my spiritual practice, giving me dedicated time to reflect, seek guidance, and express gratitude. In these quiet, personal moments my faith becomes louder than judgement and fear. I create my own sacred space to be honest and at peace with my identity; it allows me to speak to God in my own words without the constraint of hate. Affirmations have also been a vital part in keeping my faith thriving. When I start to feel weak in my spirituality I remind myself, God creates everyone in His image and my transgender identity is a gift. These affirmations ground me, helping me reclaim my worth and place in the Christian doctrine.
Although most churches still remain unwelcoming, I’ve realized that I don’t need institutional validation to keep my relationship with God intact. Through worship and other christian communities, I have found that embracing both my faith and identity allows me to live authentically. I know now that I am cherished by the divine just as I am. Instead of being haunted by hateful, man-made verses, I choose to revel in the real messages that God has sent us: "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus" Galatians 3:28.
