Decolonizing My Identity
Written by Isabella - California, USA
Since long before I was born, expectations and values of heteronormativity have been forced onto my people and community for centuries. Now, I am proud to be able to reclaim my Native American heritage as well as my open LGBTQ+ identity as a queer, young, Indigenous woman. I’m proud that my expression of myself transcends the heteronormative expectations of me.
Reconnecting with my unique faith of spirituality and tradition is a time I look forward to every year by participating in our sacred dances and community ceremonies for several reasons.
Being a queer person, I know religion is often a rocky experience and subject, so I empathize with all of those who did have a negative experience with a various religion that has shunned them or made them feel as if they are not valid as a human being. I feel so fortunate to have never had that experience and for once feel embraced by my faith. Never when surrounded by my faith have I felt like an outcast when that seems to be the case everywhere else as an atypical teenager in a heteronormative world.
The space of my faith, the Roundhouse, is warm, welcoming, and inviting to all those who need thoughts and prayers and those who want to express their gratitude, which I often do. When I dance, when I offer prayer, I’m not thought of as different, I don’t feel expectations or stereotypes shoved onto me, I feel appreciative of my life and what got me to where I am, a significant part of that is my identity. In many organized religions, queer people have a history of being persecuted, but what’s so special about mine is that queer and non-conforming people were embraced completely, they were the wise medicine people who could heal their community when they needed it the most. Everything about my faith allows me to be comfortable in my own skin.
My spirituality is who I am, never had I felt I needed to erase an entire part of me just to feel safe and at home. I am proud to embrace my traditions, during ceremonies and in everyday life.
When I was first discovering myself as a queer-identifying person, it was a time of worldwide unease, sickness, loneliness, and hate. Coming out as bisexual to my family was an extremely isolating feeling, knowing that queer people across the world are afraid to express themselves and by doing so it could put me in danger. Quarantine only accelerated those feelings. But slowly as we began to practice our faith again with a community, I didn’t feel alone, I didn’t feel pressure to define myself when I was constantly unsure if I was bisexual or gay, I just felt like me for the first time in a while. I was truly decolonizing myself in simply embracing myself and doing what made me happy. By celebrating and experiencing joy and gratitude I have decolonized my identity.
